There is a giant slug in my head that tells me what to do. I have to protect the slug using only the power of tinfoil: That crappy aluminum stuff just won't cut it. I am fascinated by my own toenails, but the toenails of others disgust me. Do not IM me if you have toenails, that's just too icky. The most beautiful thing in the world is the greasy skin on an old cup of half-finished cocoa. I like things with corners, especially if they are made of stretch velour. When I bought my shoes, they had little lights that flashed when you walked, but now the little lights are worn out, so they just look like normal shoes. That is kind of an allegory for my life. Nothing will ever compare to the beauty of a properly hung shower curtain, with the possible exception of good grammar. Celery is the devil.